I almost dismissed one of the best teachers I've ever met - before she even said a word.
My wife and I are on the lookout for schools for our boys. Our oldest, who is four, just finished with play school, and we are looking to find a kindergarten that our youngest, who is soon turning two, can join a year later. Our hope is to find a kindergarten that not only matches our ideas of what early schooling should look like, but also can teach us about how we should think about bringing up our children.
We got the opportunity to attend an orientation session for one such school that came highly recommended. I hope to write a detailed review of the orientation session separately (headline - we were blown away) but this post is about a bias of mine I caught during the session.
My wife had received an email confirming her registration for the session, along with timings and other information including how to get there. The school was very strict (something we appreciated) about arrival timings and clear about what to expect from the session.
We arrived before time, and found two people at what matched the description of the school gate. One was clearly the guard, and the second I assumed was a teacher. Before alighting, we checked if we were at the right location. The teacher's response was affirmative but lacked enthusiasm, making me question if she was forced to do this on a day off. She then asked for our names to check it off from a hand-written list. Once she found our names, she very softly asked us to proceed to the school building. Her voice was so low, her demeanour so lacking in confidence, that I suddenly doubted if she was a teacher at all. Perhaps she was part of the admin team just filling in to greet parents?
We explored the campus for a bit before entering the room they had prepared for the orientation session on time. There were cushions arranged in an ellipse on the floor. It was pretty obvious who the parents were because we all showed up as couples. We were joined by the lady at the gate and two other ladies who, in my opinion, were trying to be as conspicuous as possible while being in plain sight of all of us. I was not having a good feeling.
Then the lady who looked the most senior said something along the lines of, "We have created this space......" and I missed hearing the rest as I was triggered.
I am scarred for life with the overuse of the word space in the social sector. I first started hearing this term when interacting with Teach for India. As Teach for India grew and their Fellows and team alumni moved on to other organizations, so did the inclusion of the word space, in day to day organizational vocabulary. They would frequently use the word space to describe any conversation, meeting or session. The strangest use was when I would hear, "We are holding this space....." I found it so oxymoronic because by definition, space is a boundless, three-dimensional continuum, and how exactly are you holding it? Initially, I would give the speaker the benefit of doubt. But apart from a few meaningful interactions, almost any time those words were uttered, I was subjected to some random stream of consciousness that only amounted to a wasted chunk of my life. I began to associate any meeting with folks who used the word "space" instead of a conversation, a session, or a meeting as a guaranteed waste of time.
Disappointed by the lack of energy of the first person we met, and triggered by the words used by another, I braced myself for an uninspiring session. And then, everything changed.
The three members of the school team started talking about the founding philosophy of the school. Their eyes lit up, their shoulders squared, and the energy in the room shifted. Without losing a step, the team quickly shifted gears to addressing the questions parents had raised. By now, the energy in the room had changed completely. The moment they were talking about teaching and how children learn, they were in their element. The confident answers they gave were clearly testament to the mastery of their subject of choice, teaching. Within minutes, I saw the very same lady who seemed unsure of herself turn into a master educator - teaching us parents how to help our children learn.
As I witnessed this amazing show of competence, I felt ashamed at judging them so quickly and so harshly. On further reflection, I realized that I had made a basic mistake - I had confused their ability to host an exciting orientation session with their ability to teach our children. We were searching for a school where our children would be loved, taken care of, and taught, and those traits and values were I should have been looking for. Instead, I decided to compare them on metrics that probably don't matter.
By the end of the session, I was a fan of the teachers and the school. I hope to share more in a detailed review of their orientation session. Irrespective of what we decide for our sons, I'll carry this lesson with me - never mistake the polish of an introduction for the depth of true competence. That said, I still can't stand the word space!